i haven’t been on here too much for a couple of years now. and the only reason i can give is, well, babies :). and it isn’t as though writing isn’t always with me, knocking on her window, asking to be allowed in…but titanic shifts, and some collisions and catastrophes as well have occurred, and sometimes my impulse is to keep those things which feed my soul the most at arms length until i come back off the ledge.
at other times i think poetry melts into the very fabric of our lives, and speaks her lines through the days that we live through, the arc of our bodies as we pull ourselves out of bed, it’s ruffled shape when we lay it back down at the end of it all. poetry will always find voice in life, because poetry is life, but what a thrill to feel her shaping herself through the words that move through me, as well, once more…
i now have so much that i have always ached for, and although i continue to build toward the shoreline of my highest calling, of my emancipated life with each new blessing, i was told recently that i would live when the possibility of death had made her presence felt and because of these gifts (of blessings and of the threat of their loss, both), gratitude-gratitude-gratitude has begun to supplant desire as the new heartbeat of my life.
poetry has a way of growing us up, of lending a solemnity, even to the celebration. of ordering the un-orderable into sweet lines, and unexpected conclusions. she is always here, but life feels more when i answer her gentle knock at the window, and agree, yes, you may flow through me once again…
if we have connected on here in the past, would you write a line of greeting? i would love to hear from all of you.
here is a poem to my daughters.
to make the two of you
broken along every axis
to make the two of you
remade by fire
the slow burn of waiting
of worry, and not knowing
the sharp burn
of bottomless pain
that re-births me
alongside you
but then it’s all eyes
both of yours
and of mine
of conversation in real-time
divorced from the watery depths
i knew you well
when you were inside
but now we meet again
no more tubes, or secret touch
no more nurses, or monitor lines
no more separation by long
hallways i struggle down
no more sovereignty derailed
no more recovery time
now it’s just peace
in between the constant, daily
shifts as the continental love i feel
laps up against your brilliance
she said, ‘it’s like your heart
has jumped out of your body,
and is running around outside.’
i say, my heart is not big enough
to contain my love for you
Welcome back to your world of the written word. Uncle Dave
“Without rain nothing grows, learn to embrace the storms of your life.”
I am so glad to read/see you again.
What a gift, when gratitude supplants desire. It has happened to me, too.
Loving you, always.
As a teenager my world revolved around me..
And then there was you..
With each view of you, each kiss, hug and tears my world became you
Throughout the years I learned that my heart and world can expand with each new love that became part of me
Along the way I have learned so much about myself but the richness of my life started with you Love Mom