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space

i recently faced a time of uncertainty. constantly felt tempted to make some kind of clear cut decision. to assert some control in a situation that triggered many emotions and pre-programmed reactions. but, somehow through the grace of Waheguru, was able to watch things unfold with some distance. and this made all the difference.

a part of me kept asking, ‘i wait to be shown what is right here. i wait for your guidance.’ and, indeed, today a big piece of the puzzle fell into place.

which isn’t to say that i didn’t become overwhelmed and unbalanced throughout the process (just to be clear, i did)! but there was enough positive momentum inside myself to be able to return to that space of observation. and that is what makes all the difference between complete loss of self and balance. a tiny, little gap. it is through that space that sanity is realized. it’s the alleyway that leads back into the Sun…

emotional forces, intertwined with vichars and hopes and dreams past, can cast such a strong net over the mind and body. the experience can be so overwhelming, it is only natural to respond with suppression. with flight. indeed, it can even feel virtuous to go down that path…but this is ultimately self-defeating, because in the end, i don’t feel that we can ‘win’ against such forces.

i think about the idea that energy cannot be destroyed, but can only be transformed. i have found for myself that holding space to observe and allow emotions as they emerge has been the most effective way for me to move through them and, ultimately, to let them go when their time with me is done.

people and situations will, through time, give you all the information you need to make the decisions that are right for you. and i have often found, that when you make the right decision for yourself, it ends up being the best decision for everyone else involved as well. which just reaffirms the fact that we are all one big mega-organism of beingness, and that, because of this, my happiness and needs cannot fundamentally be in competition with anyone else’s.

which is why that little gap is so important. because when i hold onto that space, i do so not just for myself, but for each person i interact with. and for all the moments that we share together. and it is my the hope that i can bring the best of me into such moments, in support of my own and others movement towards God-within.

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